Exactly just exactly What had been the possibilities things could find yourself violently with me, of course, getting the shitty end between us? Might Trayvon force himself that I became unwilling to simply accept but struggling to stop? On me personally you might say! They certainly were perhaps perhaps maybe not idle concerns. We thought long and difficult about that, however in the end We decided that no, he’dn’t do this. Centered on just what, you ask? Good question — we don’t know.

Another consideration ended up being, that which was Trayvon getting away from this relationship? Demonstrably, he’d have yourself an intercourse partner as well as minimum some usage of my canteen account. We knew he previously simply no cash, in which he knew that I experienced at the very least some funds. Maybe he had been actually interested in me personally in which he ended up being a mooch — we represented the opportunity to meet both needs! Ended up being here any such thing undoubtedly incorrect with this? As of this very very early phase I told myself that so long as he didn’t get too greedy I became fine to allow him have soup or perhaps a honey bun as he desired one thing. Why shouldn’t I reward him for their relationship? All things considered, I stood to obtain one thing from this too — unlike my situation at Swift Annex I’d have prison bad-ass on my part in the event i obtained threatened or harassed.

Did Trayvon have HIV or other STD? Needless to say he said no and said he previously to have tested sporadically and blah blah blah. I did son’t press the presssing problem or insist upon seeing the test outcomes. Rather We asked myself — keep in mind, this person ended up being assigned to kitchen responsibility — Would my state’s DOC designate a guy with HIV compared to that sort of job? I’d to think the clear answer ended up being no, no chance. Other inmates later on laughed inside my confidence in DOC! Also, he wasn’t using any meds — either K.O.P. (“keep on person”) or dose that is single. Consequently we judged him become healthier.

Had been I the actual only real guy he had been striking on or are there other people — either immediately in my own dorm or perhaps in your kitchen where he worked sixdays per week? Did I value that? A jail dorm is all about the smallest amount of personal destination you can reside in, thus I could see the vast majority of Trayvon’s interactions with other people. He previously other buddies, black colored & white. Achieved it appear to be he had been striking on some of those dudes? Answer — no. As to whether we cared, we must’ve cared or I would personallyn’t have already been spending plenty attention. But we told myself we cared maybe maybe not out of jealousy but because I happened to be nevertheless trying to puzzle out their genuine motives and concerned about getting an STD.

We asked myself: If i really do this does which make me personally unfaithful to my ex-wife with who I hoped to get together again once I got down? Exactly What would which means that? We had been divorced!

Could achieving this somehow turn me personally homosexual after an eternity to be right — at least since it pertains to grownups? I did son’t understand yet because I’dn’t had this experience yet. But I was thinking — no. I became building an exception that is special this “friend with benefits, ” an exception that will end once we finished. I was thinking, “Trayvon is really an unique situation. What other young black colored guys might be thinking about an adult white guy? ” To date, i did son’t feel any gayer. I happened to be simply messing around and having some disgusting fun. It absolutely was a jail thing.

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Before embracing the possibility benefits Trayvon had to provide as being a “friend with advantages” i want to say one last instead serious issue that I didn’t think of in front of time — although in hindsight i must say i must have! That has been, assume we had been learned? Assume rumors because I was spending a lot of time hanging around Trayvon’s bunk and we’re smiling at each other a lot about us began to fly around the dorm just? Just just What would we do, if any such thing, to squelch such rumors?